FOREWORD: You should all buy Sarah Silverman's autobiography- The Bedwetter. It's inspirational. I'm not kidding.
Now, Vitamin Water has recently released Vitamin Water Zero onto the market. I think there is tobacco in it. Firstly, I drank five of them the other day and that wasn't enough to satisfy my thirst (addiction?!) and secondly, my dad said I had tobacco breath this morning and I have never smoked a cigarette in my life. So, I would like to go on the record and say that I think there is tobacco in Vitamin Water Zero.
Also, something about the amazing taste and absence of calories does not sit well with me. HOW DO THEY DO IT?! I mean, before there was Vitamin Water Zero and the world was subjected to 110 calories per serving of their nutrient-rich water (hey, so does it count as water if there are calories in it? I don't think so but whatever...), I was not questioning how they got all that flavor into my drink. But now that there are zero calories and the same really above-average taste, I'm questioning everything.
And one last thing: Why have scientists been working on making water taste this good and be healthy at the same time? DO THAT TO A MILKSHAKE, DUMBASSES! Better yet, which scientists think it's okay to take time off from the search from a cure for cancer? Hmm.
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