A Tale or Two, some Propositions and Observations, and an Announcement

I haven't blogged in awhile so hold onto your undergarments for the vacuum of kick ass I am about to deliver is sure to suck the rest of your clothing right off.

TALE ONE
ALEC: Did you know Obama smokes?
MOM: Yes. He isn't perfect. Close, but no cigar. Well...

PROPOSITION ONE
I think that women should, for one day every month (and without warning), make their husbands stay home and do all of the housework. This would result in the man questioning his masculinity and therefore everything else in his life. Women would get a clean house and men would get a day of reflection.

PROPOSITION TWO
One's IQ should be a factor in determining when one can receive one's drivers license.

OBSERVATION ONE
I hate Walgreens and I love CVS and I don't know why.

OBSERVATION TWO
I love declining friend requests. It's a natural high for me. It makes me feel powerful. Even better- removing someone from my friends list. If I decline your friend request then you were never good enough for me to begin with but if I remove you, HA!

TALE TWO
ALEC: Mallie, did you remember to...
MALLIE: No!!! Leave me alone about it.
ALEC: Fine, I'll write about it on my blog.
(MALLIE goes and does what I told her to do. And she rarely forgets to do it anymore.)

OBSERVATION THREE
I love it when people I don't like get bad hair cuts. Is that terrible?

PROPOSITION THREE
There should be eight days in a week. The number seven bugs me. And the number eight is so nice.

ANNOUNCEMENT
I will be running for president eventually.

A HAIKU (It's my blog, I'll do what I want, thanks. I know it wasn't in the title... get over it.)
Five syllables, shit!
How can I be profound? Meh...
I give up. Four. Five.

PROPOSITION FOUR
Flip flops should only be worn by males in cities with beach access. Mom, I'm moving to Miami now.

OBSERVATION FOUR
Most people consider families with 'too many children' to be families with one more child than they had whe they were growing up.

OBSERVATION FIVE
No great TV shows are on on Wednesdays.

OBSERVATION SIX
The only people that annoy me on Jeopardy! are the ones who look like they don't know that much but then they know, like, everything.

PROPOSITION FIVE
People shouldn't have to pay late fees. They should just not be able to get new things (whether it be from Blockbuster, you public library, or Rent-a-Center) untill they return what they think they need for an extra long time.

OBSERVATION SEVEN
I'm running out of ideas.

I'll bring sexy back tomorrow... I'm tired today.

ALEC!!!!!!! (: